Portez un Copote!

I walk into the roomed and feel like I'm going to a meeting of the UN - high sealing, plush seats, large projector screen, signs for translation channels. I look around at all the people, there are probably about five hundred at the moment and there are supposed to be six hundred fifty before we start our speeches. Slightly intimidating given that I'll be speaking in French about a topic that I don't quite have the vocab for – health.

Rewind two days and I'm in Ouaga to celebrate my birthday and see Andrea's COS (close of service) conference. I'm making the rounds through the bureau saying hi to everyone when out of the blue I get asked to speak to a group of Burkinabe volunteers who will be serving for a year as teachers. Apparently they've asked Peace Corps to come do a presentation about how to live a healthy life during your service.

I've spent most of the day before writing and translating my speech, I'm going to have to go off my notes for a lot of it, which I'm not entirely happy about. If I had been ask to give an hour or two of how to use a computer I think I'd be pretty comfortable doing so, but I'll be talking about washing and preparing food, safe sex and STIs.

And then it's our turn, Country Director Shannon, Andrea and I walk up to the enormous stage and take a seat in one of the empty chairs at the long table. Shannon is up first, speaking about the philosophy of development. I'm looking at my speech, trying to come up with something to liven it up. Then I remember a song my host sister used to sing to me:

“Si tu aimes manger, tapes les main! clap, clap, clap
(If you like to eat, clap your hands!)
si tu aimes le soleil, tapes les main! clap, clap, clap
(If you like the sun, clap your hands!)”
etc...

And I thought I could change up my current delivery of my 'wear a condom' to fit to the song, which was at the end of my speech. After stumbling through the first part of my speech I made it to the end and was ready to go. I asked them if they knew the song that my sister taught me, and most of them said yes, then I launched into my modified version. It turned out a little something like this:

Si elle dit je t'aime, portez un capote! clap, clap, clap
(if she says she loves you, wear a condom!)
Si il dit je veux pas, portez un capote! clap, clap, clap
(if he says he doesn't want to, wear a condom!)
Si c'est un jour de la semaine, portez un capote! clap, clap, clap
(if it's a weekday, wear a condom!)
Si c'est un weekende, portez un capote! clap, clap, clap
(if it's a weekend, wear a condom!)
Si vous êtes fatigué, portez un capote! clap, clap, clap
(if you are tired, wear a condom!)
Même si vous êtes excité, portez un capote! clap, clap, clap
(even if you are horny, wear a condom!)

With the delivery of the last line the audience broke out cheering and laughing. Mission accomplished!? (not in the Bush aircraft carrier sense)

On a side note: it's really funny when English speakers are trying to say they are excited about something, often they end up telling everyone they are really horny (excité)